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The Fractured Fairy

Across the realm in gardens fair

And sunlit woodland dell

They talk of Past Times Fairy

And what one night befell.


Her home it was a magic place

Of blooms and crystal glass

Until there came those meals-on-wheels

And that big clumsy arse.


He didn’t see her as he rose

And stumped off to the loo

Oblivious he to where she sat

And fairy kisses blew.


A mind too filled with rummy

A head too filled with drink

He brushed right past her resting place

And knocked her off the brink.


The crash was heard ‘cross Fairyland

As to the tiles she fell

The news flashed o’er the ether

To every Tinkerbell.


Her hand that guided kisses

In tiny pieces lay

No more to wave at butterflies

And brush life’s cares away.


Her wings were cruelly fractured

Just like an injured bird

She lay immobile on her back

As Maureen’s cry was heard.


Oh, who will heal our fairy?

A victim of cruel self

I know, said Ken, with ready wit,

Let’s call the National Elf.





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