The Illustrated Iguana

You may think that it’s sexy

You may think that it’s hip

To have Press Here To Open

Tattooed upon your lip.

 

But spare a thought for others

Less fortunate than you

Like Philip the Iguana

Who landed in a stew.

 

He wasn’t really thinking

When invited to inspect

The tattooist’s darkened parlour

His life it surely wrecked.

 

He went in as a reptile

He came out like pop art

With I Love Mum upon his tail

Plus dragons and a heart.

 

His knuckles they had Love and Hate

His chest God Save The Queen

And vanishing between his legs

A famous hunting scene.

 

So though tattoos might tempt you

Those needles you should skip

And keep your skin unmarked unlike

Poor picture-plastered Pip.