top of page

The Illustrated Iguana

You may think that it’s sexy

You may think that it’s hip

To have Press Here To Open

Tattooed upon your lip.


But spare a thought for others

Less fortunate than you

Like Philip the Iguana

Who landed in a stew.


He wasn’t really thinking

When invited to inspect

The tattooist’s darkened parlour

His life it surely wrecked.


He went in as a reptile

He came out like pop art

With I Love Mum upon his tail

Plus dragons and a heart.


His knuckles they had Love and Hate

His chest God Save The Queen

And vanishing between his legs

A famous hunting scene.


So though tattoos might tempt you

Those needles you should skip

And keep your skin unmarked unlike

Poor picture-plastered Pip.





bottom of page