What A Gas

Cook, cook, cookability

That’s the beauty of gas

But when I went and left it on

I felt a total ass

Our Katie’s nose my saviour

When she picked up the scent

Of North Sea in my kitchen

She was just heaven-sent

The tale began the night before

With sausage-mash my dinner

When potatoes came to boil

The rings were changed to simmer

But faulty spark ignition

Had failed to light one flame

That knob was not turned fully

It’s only me to blame

If there had been a mighty blast

At Old Park 101

And I had left this mortal coil

Blown to kingdom come.